Lately, I’ve been noticing growing discourse around the challenges people with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) face in the workplace. In many of the social media groups I’m part of, I often come across questions like, “How do you manage to keep a job?” or “I can’t handle working—what should I do?” While it’s clear that larger societal and systemic issues play a role, it will be helpful to offer practical guidance for those with BPD who are either navigating the job search or struggling to maintain employment.
I live with BPD, yet I’ve managed to complete my postgraduate education and have been working steadily since I was 18. But here’s the thing: just because someone with BPD can hold down a job doesn’t mean they’re always “okay.” I know this firsthand. Despite feeling proud of my professional achievements, I still face emotional struggles, burnout, and face moments where I just can’t handle work. So what’s helped me push through these barriers and actually enjoy my work? A few key things: understanding my purpose, setting goals, having a supportive workplace and knowing my limits.
Finding Purpose:
Finding your purpose is rarely a clear-cut journey for anyone, and for those of us with BPD, it can feel even more elusive. We can have a distorted sense of self-image—one week we’re passionate about something, the next we’re questioning everything. This includes who we are and what we’re truly capable of. It’s easy to get lost in that uncertainty. But even on the toughest days, there are core traits within you that remain fairly constant.
From the moment I began studying Psychology in college, I knew I was drawn to a career in mental health. Despite the challenges I’ve faced, the work has consistently been deeply rewarding. It provides me with a sense of purpose that I believe no other field could offer. My intuition and empathy naturally align with the demands of this profession, making mental health a fitting and fulfilling path.
As an example, authenticity is a core value of mine, I wouldn’t thrive in an industry that required me to promote something I don’t believe in. Similarly, competitive environments, such as sales, are not well-suited to my strengths. Instead, I’ve embraced what I excel at and combined it with a field I’m truly passionate about.
Recognising Strengths & Weaknesses:
Consider both your strengths and areas for improvement. To help guide your reflection, I’ve provided some examples below.I understand that recognizing our own strengths can sometimes be challenging:
Creative, enjoy solving problems, perceptive, good with numbers, sociable, public speaking, persuasive, attention to detail, project managing, writing, fitness, emotional intelligence, patience, good listener, collaboration.
Write down some you know you are good at and some you are not so good at. This will give you some indication of the kind of roles you would be suited to and those you should avoid. Also think about things you are passionate about; hobbies, subjects of interests and real job roles. Once you have some ideas about industries and roles within those, assess if they align with your values.
Compare your skills to the roles that interest you and explore them further. For instance, I once considered becoming a health and safety inspector; as my strong attention to detail and ability to identify potential risks around me align well with the role. I also excel at working independently, all these skills could also make me well-suited for a position like a parking inspector. However, the purpose of that role doesn’t align with my values, pursuing it would be quite soul destroying.
Andres Zuzunga’s Venn Diagram of Purpose:
Andres Zuzunga’s Venn Diagram of Purpose is a valuable tool for self-discovery. It offers a visual framework to help identify the intersection of what you love, what you excel at, what the world needs, and what you can be paid for.
This concept resonated deeply with me. As someone with BPD and a wide range of interests and passions, I often question whether I’m on the right path. Engaging with this exercise helped clarify my perspective on both my work and hobbies, offering a fresh outlook on my professional goals. It also allowed me to create space for activities outside of my full-time role, which has, in turn, strengthened my sense of identity.
Setting Goals:
Your job, or the type of job you have, does not define your worth as a person, despite societal pressures suggesting otherwise. However, dedicating your time to something you genuinely enjoy—where you can see the value you contribute to the world—can greatly enhance your self-esteem. What this looks like will vary from person to person.
Of course, getting paid is a motivating factor for me, but my primary motivation is working toward a future where I feel at peace. For me, means working for myself.
Staying motivated at work is closely tied to having clear goals. You need to understand your ‘why.’ The obvious reason is to earn money to survive and improve your quality of life. However there are often more personal goals that can drive you forward. Such as developing a skill, gaining knowledge, building confidence, or achieving the freedom to travel.
It’s important to recognize that our goals will evolve over time. The career you envisioned at 21 may no longer suit your life as you grow older. You might seek fewer working hours due to childcare, or your interests and values could shift. It may leave you feeling stagnant in your role. Regularly reviewing and updating your goals ensures that you continue to grow and improve your life as circumstances and priorities change.
Supportive Workplace Environment:
While no job is without its challenges, working in the mental health field has made it easier for me to find meaningful employment. I have the privilege of working alongside colleagues and management who demonstrate compassion and a deep understanding of various mental health conditions. I feel fortunate to be in an environment where I can openly discuss my struggles with management and receive accommodations when needed.
While this may not be the case in many industries, the past decade has seen a positive shift towards employers making accommodations for individuals with mental health conditions. In the UK, you are not legally required to disclose a mental health condition, but doing so may be beneficial if you need reasonable adjustments in the workplace. If you’re uncomfortable discussing this with your management, you can always reach out to HR for support.
Reasonable adjustments will vary depending on your job and personal needs. For me, it means having the flexibility to work in a quiet space when needed, like using a seperate office to focus or listening to music to manage my mood. Without this option, I know I’d need to take more sick days. In previous roles, reasonable adjustments included the ability to prioritise tasks in my own order and taking short breaks to step outside. As long as the work was completed on time, there were no issues, and I was a happier, more productive colleague.
Personal Strategies:
Creating a stable, peaceful environment can make a big difference. Set up a quiet space where you can focus, play relaxing music, and ensure you’re physically comfortable while working. Organise your day by creating daily to-do lists and using a calendar system that suits you. Take regular breaks and maintain a healthy eating schedule to stay energised and balanced.
Management Support:
It’s essential to have regular check-ins with management to maintain open communication about your needs and expectations. Discuss with your manager the best work structure for you. This could be short bursts of work with frequent breaks or longer sessions with more extended breaks. Managers should also foster supportive conversations about mental health within the team. This ensures that everyone is aware and respectful of each other’s boundaries and needs.
Reasonable Adjustments could include:
- Flexible working hours to manage stress levels and emotional regulation.
- A quiet or private workspace to minimise distractions and overwhelm.
- The option to work remotely, if possible, for a more controlled environment.
- Breaks for mindfulness or grounding exercises when feeling emotionally overwhelmed.
- Adjusting deadlines or workload during particularly difficult periods.
- Access to a mentor or mental health advocate within the company for additional support.
- Encourage the use of the Employee Assistance Programme (EAP) if available, which can offer counselling and mental health resources.
By fostering an inclusive and understanding workplace, both employees and management can create a healthier, more productive environment for everyone.
Knowing Your Limits:
Three years ago, I transitioned from a role in Social Care to a support role at a University. I previously worked in a mental health facility, where I had to sleep overnight and frequently encountered dangerous situations for myself and others. I worked 56 hours a week for 4.5 years. While there were many rewarding moments, and I deeply miss the clients and colleagues, I had to make a change for the sake of my health. Burnout combined with BPD is a dangerous combination. Even in my current role, I’ve had to call in sick due to stress, particularly during a year when we were understaffed and overworked. These challenges are often unavoidable, but there are ways to reduce stress and prevent burnout.
If you notice signs of overload, it’s essential to act early by taking time off before the situation worsens. Don’t wait until burnout has fully set in, as recovery from burnout can take much longer than addressing early signs of stress.
Preventing Burnout:
- Take regular breaks and rest: You won’t be motivated if you’re stressed and overworked. It’s important to plan time off effectively. Engage in hobbies and activities that genuinely relax and recharge you—rather than just doomscrolling or watching TV. While it’s fine to do that occasionally, it’s important to balance it with self-care practices and activities you enjoy.
- Practise real self-care: This might include hobbies like reading, crafting, exercising, or socialising with friends. The key is finding something you look forward to that helps you disconnect from work and stress.
Avoiding Triggers:
- If you’re prone to stress, try to avoid roles that involve constant confrontation, like front-facing retail in high-pressure environments, cold-calling sales, or security positions. While no job is entirely stress-free, avoiding situations where you’re more likely to experience mistreatment or conflict can help.
- Minimise exposure to high-stress roles: For individuals with BPD, emotionally charged environments may increase stress levels. It’s important to find roles that align with your emotional resilience.
Working Schedule:
- Try to avoid working irregular hours, especially night shifts. A regular sleep schedule is crucial for regulating emotions and maintaining mental health. Sleep deprivation can exacerbate emotional dysregulation, increasing the risk of burnout.
Managing Workload:
- If your workload is becoming unmanageable, speak up early. Seek support from management or HR to address understaffing or excessive demands.
- Time management techniques such as breaking tasks into smaller, manageable chunks or using time-blocking methods. This can help prevent feeling overwhelmed by tasks piling up.
Building a Support Network:
- Having supportive colleagues or a trusted mentor at work can provide emotional and practical support. Don’t hesitate to reach out for help when needed.
By recognizing the signs of stress early and taking proactive steps to manage your mental and physical well-being, you can mitigate the risk of burnout and create a more balanced, sustainable work life.
Practising Gratitude and Celbrating Achievements:
Depending on the type of work you do, rewards or recognition may not always be part of the job. In my line of work, I’ve never received gifts or bonuses, or rarely a simple “thank you.” That’s why it’s important for me to create my own rewards for achieving goals. Whenever I set a work goal, I also plan a reward for myself—something to look forward to. This could be a date night with my partner or a small gift to myself, depending on the scale of the goal. It’s important to think about realistic rewards that motivate you and bring a sense of accomplishment.
When my workload becomes overwhelming, I sometimes experience “splitting” and find myself venting about how much I hate my job. In these moments, I make a conscious effort to reflect. I remind myself of past roles that were even more challenging and express gratitude that I’m in a better position now. I use the DBT skill of “checking the facts” to reassess my emotions and adjust my perspective. I also try to show appreciation to my coworkers and focus on the positive aspects of my job. These are often more abundant than I initially realise. This helps me see that things aren’t as catastrophic as I’ve made them out to be.
It’s also important to stop comparing ourselves to others. We all know people who seem more successful in certain areas, but allowing envy to take over can be harmful. Instead, focus on your own skills and achievements. Recognize what you’re really good at and commit to continually improving. Most importantly, celebrate how much you’ve accomplished despite the challenges of living with BPD. That in itself is a significant achievement, and it’s something that not everyone can say they’ve done.
Summary:
- In conclusion, navigating the workplace with BPD presents unique challenges. However, with the right strategies, it is possible to find fulfilment and maintain balance.
- Key approaches include finding purpose in your work, setting clear and meaningful goals, and ensuring you work in a supportive environment.
- Practising self-care, setting boundaries, and recognizing when to take breaks are essential to avoiding burnout.
- Additionally, rewarding yourself for achievements and practising gratitude can help foster a positive mindset and reinforce your sense of accomplishment.
- It’s crucial to stop comparing yourself to others and focus on your own journey. Acknowledge your strengths and celebrate the progress you’ve made, particularly in light of the challenges that come with BPD.
- Ultimately, building a career that aligns with your values, passions, and emotional resilience is achievable through self-awareness, ongoing reflection, and proactive management of your mental health.
